Who borrows all your ready cash, |
And with it cuts a mighty dash, |
Proving the lender weak and rash? -- |
Your friend! |
5 Who finds out every secret fault, |
Misjudges every word and thought, |
And makes you pass for worse than nought? |
Your friend! |
Who wins your money at deep play, |
10 Then tells you that the world doth say, |
"'Twere wise from clubs you kept
away?" |
Your friend! |
Who sells you, for the longest price, |
Horses, a dealer, in a trice |
15 Would find unsound, and full of vice? |
Your friend! |
Who eats your dinners, then looks shrewd; |
Wishes you had a cook like Ude, |
For then much oft'ner would intrude -- |
20 Your friend! |
Who tells you that you've shocking wine, |
And owns, that though he sports not fine, |
Crockford's the only place to dine? -- |
Your friend! |
25 Who wheedles you with words most fond |
To sign for him a heavy bond. |
"Or else, by Jove, must quick abscond |
Your friend." |
Who makes you all the interest pay, |
30 With principal, some future day, |
And laughs at what you then may say? |
Your friend! |
Who makes deep love unto your wife, |
Knowing you prize her more than life, |
35 And breeds between you hate and strife? -- |
Your friend! |
Who, when you've got into a brawl, |
Insists that out your man you call, |
Then gets you shot, which ends it all? -- |
40 Your friend!!! |
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